Earl Wilson Quotes
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Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.
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Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
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You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
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Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
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A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
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This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
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Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
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Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
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Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
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Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
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Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.
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Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
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The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
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Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
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Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.
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A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
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The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
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Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
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This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.
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Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
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No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.
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Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.
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There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.
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To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
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Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back
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Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
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