Herb Caen Quotes
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Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?
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The waterfront without the Ferry Tower would be like a birthday cake without a candle.
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A city is not gauged by its length and width, but by the broadness of its vision and the height of its dreams.
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A city is where you can sign a petition, boo the chief justice, fish off a pier, gaze at a hippopotamus, buy a flower at the corner, or get a good hamburger or a bad girl at 4 A.M. A city is where sirens make white streaks of sound in the sky and foghorns speak in dark grays. San Francisco is such a city.
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The clock doesn't matter in baseball. Time stands still or moves backwards. Theoretically, one game could go on forever. Some seem to.
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Best trumpet: Mike Vax, an alumnus of the Kenton Band, who plays every style with a bright cutting edge, throwing in bop riffs here and there.
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There are a thousand viewpoints in the viewtiful city.
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San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
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It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.
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The clock doesn?t matter in baseball.
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The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.
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One day if I do go to heaven...I'll look around and say, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.
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Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.
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I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met.
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Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many.
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When a place advertises itself as 'World Famous,' you may be sure it isn't.
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All American cars are basically Chevrolets.
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We are reorganizing in order to eliminate duplication and redundancy.
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The world of Manhattan is small and tightly knit, and the man on top retains a certain humility. He knows how far and fast he can fall by looking at the guy across the street. The view from the $250,000 apartment covers a lot of ground, most of it condemned.
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Old San Francisco - the one so many nostalgics yearn for - had buildings that related well to each other.
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Just two days in Manhattan and you find yourself looking for a place to wash your handkerchief after you wipe your forehead and it comes away black. Is there a dirtier or more fascinating city anywhere in the land? The answer to both parts of the question has to be positively negative.
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You cover Q-tips with sandpaper and ram them up your nostrils as far as they will go. Then you sniff talcum powder while shredding hundred dollar bills.
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Satire of satire tends to be self-canceling, and deliberate shock tactics soon lose their ability to shock, especially when they're too deliberate.
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God! I loove this city!
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San Franciscans have a bond of self-satisfaction bordering on smugness.
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A good column is one that sells paper. It doesn't matter how beautifully it is written and how much you admire the author... if it doesn't sell any papers, it's not a good column. It's a terrible yardstick to use, but in the newspaper business, that's the whole thing.
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We (San Francisco) have football weather during baseball season, and baseball weather during football season.
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I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.
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A city is a crazy concrete jungle whose people at the end of each day somehow make a small step ahead against terrible odds.
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Baffling late-life discovery: Golfers wear those awful clothes on purpose.
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