Funny Life Quotes
The best sayings about Funny Life that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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There's birth, there's death, and in between there's maintenance.
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Don't take life too seriously.
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
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Life is funny. Life isn’t categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don’t know why they try to categorize everything. It drives me crazy-why it would have to be just a romantic comedy or…I want to have a little integrity, a little story, you know
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If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
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Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
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The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
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Life is a nacho. It can be yummy-crunchy or squishy-yucky. It just depends on how long it takes for you to start eating it.
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The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
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A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.
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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
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The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
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In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
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I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
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I tried to be normal once... worst two minutes of my life.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
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Life isn't a cabaret. It's a dive bar.
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Life is like eating artichokes; you have got to go through so much to get so little.
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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That's when parents know the least and care the most, so they're more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they're right.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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